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‘I had tears’: Denare Beach man presents feather to Trudeau in grieving La Loche

Amid intense grief over the school shootings in La Loche came a moment of beauty and sorrow for Tom McDermott.

Amid intense grief over the school shootings in La Loche came a moment of beauty and sorrow for Tom McDermott.

The Denare Beach resident presented Prime Minister Justin Trudeau with an eagle feather upon returning to La Loche, where McDermott once worked, last month.

Trudeau was in La Loche, a northern Saskatchewan village, on Jan. 29 to meet with mournful residents one week after a male youth shot to death four people at the local school.

McDermott said the room was silent as the prime minister spoke.

“I looked around and witnessed the majority of the audience wipe away tears,” he said.

McDermott said the crowd swarmed Trudeau after his speech and he wondered how he would give the PM the eagle feather he had brought.

“It symbolizes courage and honour,” said McDermott, an aboriginal man, of his gift.

“In our culture it represents strength.”

To McDermott’s surprise, Trudeau walked directly toward him and accepted the gift.

“I can see him looking at me,” McDermott said. “He put his hand over mine and stood side by side as if he was saying, ‘I’m with you and you’re not alone.’ 

“I had tears coming down my eyes…that moment will always be with me.”

McDermott was struck by Trudeau’s compassion during his speech.

“I’ve never seen a prime minister speak with such sincere conviction and love and care for aboriginal peoples,” said McDermott, adding that it was meaningful to see Trudeau “come to a community at its lowest and say, ‘I care and I will be here.’”

McDermott spent four years as a paramedic in La Loche. He returned after last month’s shootings, hoping to provide support to grieving residents.

“That’s my calling. I had to be there,” McDermott said. 

The return was both moving and painful for a man who recalls a series of traumatic experiences during his tenure as a first responder in La Loche from 2009 to 2012. 

“We had 13 suicides in a matter of three months, all young people,” McDermott recalls.

“All aged 15 to maybe 30. The graveyard is full, full of fresh graves.”

During his visit to La Loche, McDermott spent time with Alicia Fontaine, the mother of two boys killed in the shootings. He had known Fontaine in the past as they both worked in the La Loche health care system.

“She gave me a hug and we talked, and she really opened my eyes,” said McDermott. “The boy who had taken the lives of her sons called her and said he was sorry. She told me that she had forgiven him over the phone. Alicia was supporting him to get through this difficult time. She said ‘I forgive you, I love you, I try not to think about it.’”

McDermott also heard stories of grief, sorrow, hurt and shock. He recalled speaking to a maintenance worker who had run through the hallways at the time of the shootings, telling teachers to lock their doors.

“You can tell he was just so traumatized,” McDermott said.

McDermott understands better than most: his experiences as a paramedic in the north led to post-traumatic stress disorder.

“That’s why I walked away, took a year off,” he said. 

McDermott now works as a paramedic in industrial environments, such as oil and gas rigs.

He said attending a funeral during his return to La Loche brought back dark memories.

“I dreamt every night about those people,” McDermott said. “I’m still having difficulty sleeping. Seeing people grieving brings back a lot of memories, the sadness in people’s faces.

“When you are first on the scene, you see the dead bodies. I have to be the one to say, ‘There’s nothing we can do.’ The person is gone. That’s when you see the heartbreak.”

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