The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Dog stories: -Minnie said to her friend Marge. "Our dog is just like a member of the family." "Which one?" asked Marge. -A man and his wife were trying to decide whether to get a puppy or have a baby. They couldn't decide whether to ruin their carpet or their lives! -My friend took her dog to obedience school and he got a better grade than she did. -A little four year-old brought his puppy to visit his grandmother. She was busy fixing dinner and paid no attention to the pup. After a while the little boy, his eyes filling with tears asked her reproachfully: "Aren't you even going to speak to your granddog?" -If you think dogs can't count, try putting three biscuits in your pocket and only giving him two! -One good thing about a dark skirt is that it's the best thing for removing dog hairs from the couch. -Dogs get more fun out of man than man gets out of the dog simply because man is the more laughable of the two animals. -One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. -Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. -What is a dog? They follow you around with their tongues hanging out. They only respond to simple commands. Their needs are basic and predictable. They whine when their needs are not met. They always need to have something in their mouth. They scratch a lot and sometimes drool. They make loud noises and sometimes smell bad. They need to be trained. You can always tell when one has lived in a house for a long time. They're rude and rowdy, especially when they're with others like them. Conclusion: They're little men in furry clothes. On Education: -Education is learning that you didn't even know you didn't know. -Who is going to do all the work in this world when the trend toward longer education meets the trend toward early retirement? -If at first you don't succeed, try, try a couple times more. Then quit. There's no sense making a fool out of yourself. About Adam? Did you hear the story about Adam who began staying out late and sneaking back into the Garden of Eden in the wee hours of the morning? Eve watched these goings on suspiciously for a while and then one morning after Adam crept in and had fallen asleep, she went over quietly to his side and carefully counted his ribs! On a mission? A nun was on a much desired mission assignment to the Apache Indians. She was so excited that she drove past the last gas station not realizing that she was low on gas. About a mile down the road, she ran out of gas and had to walk back to the station. The station attendant told her he would like to help her but didn't have any containers to put the gas in. However, sympathetic to her plight, he agreed to search an old shed for something that might hold the gasoline for her. The only container that could be found that would hold a good quantity of gasoline was an old bed pan. He was doubtful that it would work, but the grateful nun told him it would work just fine. She slowly carried the gasoline back to her vehicle not spilling on drop. When she got to her car, she carefully began pouring the gasoline into the tank. A truck driver pulled up along side of the car as the nun was emptying the contents of the bed pan into the car. He rolled down his window and yelled to her, "I wish I had your faith Sister!" Respective faiths? A Jewish person and a Christian were indulging in a friendly argument about their respective faiths. "Most of the good things you Christians have, you've taken from us," said the Jewish person. "The Ten Commandments, for instance." "I'll admit we took the Ten Commandments from you," answered the Christian, "but you can't say we've kept them!" Have a great weekend!
