The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Well, here it is, the battle of the sexes: Here is the guys side of the story first: - Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl, if it is up simply put it down. We need it up and you need it down, you don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down! - About Sunday sports. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be! - Shopping is NOT a sport. And NO we are never going to think that way! - Crying is blackmail. - Ask for what you want! Subtle hints do not work, strong hints do not work, just say it! - Yes or no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. - Come to us with a problem only if you want us to help you solve it, sympathy is what your girlfriends are for! - A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. - Anything that we said 16 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 24 hours. - If you won't dress like Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys. - If you think you are fat, you probably are, so don't ask! - If something we said can be interpreted one or two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. - You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done but not both. If you already know how best to do it, do it yourself! - Whenever possible, please say what needs to be said during the commercials! - Christopher Columbus did not need to ask for directions and neither do we! - All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit, not a colour, likewise for pumpkin, we have no idea what mauve is! - If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. - If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act as if nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it is just not worth the hassle. - If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. - When we go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fineÉ really! - Don't ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss baseball, the shotgun formation or monster trucks. - You have enough clothes. - You have too many shoes. - I am in shape, round is a shape. - Yes, I know tonight I have to sleep on the couch, but you know I really don't mind, it's kind of like camping! Now, from the woman's point of view. Women's terminology: - Five minutesÉ If she is getting dressed means half an hour. However, five minutes is only five minutes if you have just be given five minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. - NothingÉ Is the calm before the storm. This means "Something" Ð and you better be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end up in "Fine"! - Go aheadÉ Is a dare not a permission! - Loud sighÉ Is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time and arguing with you over "Nothing"! - That's okayÉ Is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. - ThanksÉ A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint, just say "you're welcome" and get on with it! Have a great weekend and enjoy each other!5/21/2004
