The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Here you go Skid! Sorry about last week, I'll try not to forget again! Hearing: As all women know, men are born with selective hearing whereas all teenagers are born with convenient hearing. I'll pick on teenagers. Ever called one to dinner for the sixth time and then decided to go up to his room? There you find him sitting in the fetal position with the CD player going full blast, the television "was up to its aerial in decibels", and he had an earphone in one ear and the telephone in the other as well as he had the dog barking in hysterics because he was teasing him with a sock stuck between his toes. After I pulled out all the plugs, hung up the phone and quieted the dog, I informed him his dinner was ready, five minutes ago. They can tune in or out whatever seems to suit them. For example, he wouldn't hear the phone when he is leaning right on it, and you are in the shower. However, if he was expecting a girl to call and he is a block away, he will get to the phone almost before it rings. He never hears the dog scratch to get in or out, but he will hear his friends 'burn rubber' three blocks away. He will never hear you ask to take out the garbage even if you have your lips on his ears, but he overheard your discussion about his report card even though you were speaking in whispers out in the garage. He never hears his alarm clock but he will hear a football play whispered in a windstorm by a quarterback with all of his teeth missing. One day, while having coffee with a neighbour who was having similar problems with her teenager, she asked how do I communicate. "We don't," I replied, "He hasn't spoke four words to me in a year and that was last spring when I was separating eggs for a cake and I dropped one on the floor. He looked at me and said: 'Way to go, Mom.'" She asked, "How do you raise him when you don't talk?" "Well," I said, "There are ways. I hand out home made bumper stickers or posters, such as "stamp out pollution in your area and send your gym shoes to the incinerator", or "don't let your teeth all fall out and see your dentist Thursday at 1:30 p.m." "Of course," she smiles, "It can work both ways. I was making supper, the dishwasher was going and I had my favourite soap on TV, when my dear son yells, 'Mom you got a spare five bucks?'" I didn't move a muscle and he comes in and unplugs all the appliances and says, "Mom, are you deaf?" 2/13/2004
