The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Back to Senior Moments: - Old people like to give advice, as solace for no longer being able to provide bad examples. The following is a very scientific list of middle age terms: Age spots ? cut freckles gone bad. Arm flaps ? those under the upper arms, swings that can knock out a man, woman or child across the room. Bifocals ? what you wear so that you can see all the new facial hair. Brain fade ? what happens when you have been focusing on one thing for too long (five minutes). Chin hair ? a continuous thread of conclusive aging. Dropped derriere ? when you can see your backside from the front. Drop zone ? the area of the body from the eyelids to the kneecaps where everything stops to go south, spring, winter and fall. Eye lift ? an expensive surgical procedure to give you the permanent stare look. Menopausal mustache ? something every woman over 40 can look forward to bleaching, plucking or waxing. Mentalpause ? inability to remember names, places and what you were just about to say. Middle age ? is caught between a glamour girl and a golden girl. Middle age spread ? a tummy just waiting to be tucked. Mid-life crisis ? when your hubby comes home astride a Harley and has his eyebrow pierced. Varicose veins ? coast to coast road map permanently imprinted on your legs, complete with rivers, mountains and railroad tracks Whatchamacallit ? is the latest word addition to the middle age dictionary. Wrinkle cream ? save your money, buy chocolate instead. - Ah, how the language of love changes: "Dear, did you remember to take your metamucil today?" Food for thought: An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her! WANTED: Someone to explain to me where and when the Golden Years began!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a great week!
