The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Gonna Be a Bear. In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate and do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that! Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too! When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that! If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and body fat. Yup, Gonna be a bear! Thanks to B. L. for the story. Kids do say the funniest things: A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" Another little boy answered, "Verge!" Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that from?" The little boy replied, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary!" Another three year-old was saying his prayers: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen". A little boy overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!" After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him repeatedly what was wrong. Finally the boy replied, "The preacher said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!" One particular four year old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets!" A Sunday school teacher asked her students as they were on their way to the church service: "and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!" A father was at the beach with his children when his four year-old ran up to him, grabbed him by the hand and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead on the sand. "Daddy what happened to him?" The boy asked. "Well," said the dad, "the bird died and has gone to Heaven." The boy thought for a few minutes and then said, "Did God throw him back?" A mother had invited some people for dinner. At the table she asked her six year-old daughter to say the blessing. "I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother replied. The little girl bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite these people to dinner!" Thanks R.F. for the e-mail. Have a great weekend!
