The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
The largest and richest city in the country, for some strange reason, has embarked on its annual orgy of self-admiration. All four Toronto newspapers have hauled out headline sizes usually reserved for the Third World War. The alleged excuse for this is the Toronto Film Festival, wherein dozens of previously unknown Hollywood types ? Peter Sarsgaard, Cuba Gooding Jr.? ? are treated as if Clark Gable was escorting Marilyn Monroe through town. This all part of the disease that Hogtown was infected with a decade ago when it decided it was a "world-class city." London, Paris and Rome do not have to advertise that they are "world-class" since they know they are. Only a tart has to boast that she is "a lady" does the artifice reveal itself. This all goes back to when Peter Ustinov famously announced that Toronto reminded him of "New York as run by the Swiss." Ever since then, Toronto ? and especially Toronto papers ? have taken this seriously. And to demonstrate how foolish this is, now grovel and adore obscure interlopers from California who are treated as gods. In doing so, Toronto more resembles Moose Jaw than Manhattan. In truth, Toronto at the moment is a mess. The police force is in turmoil, beset by charges of corruption ? one of the officers involved being the son of a previous police chief. As mayor, Rudy Guiliani (who will contest Hillary Clinton for the presidency in 2008) cleaned up New York's streets. Today, homeless people slump on the sidewalks, begging, on Bay Street ? the financial centre of the nation ? and no one notices, stepping over them. The last mayor, Mel Lastman, mortified the city and his country by refusing to go to Africa for an Olympic Games bid because he would be "burned in a pot" by the natives. No one anymore takes seriously the new premier in Queen's Park ? who deposed the previous premier who wouldn't marry his millionaire live-in ? and got elected promising to cut taxes and then raised them. See 'Short' P.# Con't from P.# Even John Kerry is trying to get elected by questioning why ? a good question ? Ontario (meaning Toronto) has 140 trucks a day carrying Canadian garbage to dump in Michigan. What sort of a province can't take care of its own garbage? But still, papers go ga-ga over the imported cleavage and dark shades. The other night, Adrienne Clarkson, Governor-General of all Canada, emerged at 3 a.m. from the trendiest new nightspot filled with Hollywood nobodies, and watched a young lady strip naked while standing atop a car. Guess the Gee-Gee has never seen a nude woman before. Who knows. Mr. Ustinov is to blame for it all. But Toronto will never be its idol, the Big Apple. It's the Big Lemon, a failed Boston. X X X AND ANOTHER THING Ottawa insiders ? with Paul (The Ditherer) Martin such a disappointment as PM, are rethinking the short list for his replacement: John Manley, Allan Rock, Brian McKenna and Brian Tobin the supposed favorites. Now eyes are turned to the brainy rookie Ken Dryden, a hockey icon known to every Canadian. And new Vancouver wonderboy David Emerson, unknown to every Canadian, now making early waves as Industry Minister. In January 1968, few Canadians knew much about Pierre Trudeau. In April, he was prime minister.
