The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
The Toronto Star has just confessed, in a Page One shocker, that in a cross-country trip it found that Canadians think Toronto is "arrogant, pushy, self-centred, egotistical and rude." This, we might point out, is about as mysterious as the recipe for boiled eggs. The reason all reasonable Canadians hate Hogtown is because Ñ while thinking it is the centre of the universe Ñ Toronto of course is where all the major media are collected: TV, radio, the only national newspapers, all the advertising boys, the best Broadway theatre and blah blah blah. So it is with some satisfaction we note that the major hit on the boob tube this season has been a TV series Ñ its final showing for 2005 after two seasons, 2006 definitely to come Ñ has been something coming from a little town in Saskatchewan. CTV's Corner Gas, as it is called, is a fake. The real town where it is filmed is called Rouleau, some 50 miles south of Regina, where the scribbler has some knowledge. Rouleau, in anti-Quebec Western Canada, was named after a French-Canadian explorer (who later presided as a judge in the Northwest Territories.) As it happened, the scribbler was born in Rouleau Hospital. The only one within 17 miles from Hearne. (Named after the English explorer Sir Samuel Hearne, the first European to reach the Arctic Ocean overland.) People from Hearne are called Hearnias. In fact, the town was so small we couldn't afford a village idiot; everyone had to take turns. So, you see, the scribbler's mother, groaning with birth pains,Ê was being driven the 17 miles by three of her seven brothers Ñ she one of 12 farm children. They apparently were aided in the adventure by a mickey of rye. You have to understand that in the Dirty Thirties, it did not rain in southern Saskatchewan for three years. The poor soil was like silt, like icing sugar. When it did rain, it turned the earth into something like chocolate fudge. It was known locally as "gumbo" mud. And it finally rained this day Ñ obviously a sign from Heaven at the impending birth Ñ and the lads, perhaps helped by the rye, slid into the ditch three times, mother groaning in theÊ back seat. Suddenly, this being the middle of the afternoon, the sky went entirely black. It was a total eclipse of the sun that swept across a slice of North America. Next? It's Rouleau Hospital. The three brothers, slightly the worse for wear, march into the nursery. It's a boy! "What are you calling him?" they ask. My mummy (now 96) answers, "Murray Allan" Ñ Murray apparently a family surname. One of the brothers replies, "Shucks, we were hoping it would be Gumbo Eclipse." The scribbler, to this day, regrets that omission.Ê Imagine that byline in the New York Times. By Gumbo Eclipse Fotheringham. It's the only reason the scribbler has never amounted to anything. X X X AND ANOTHER THING: A prediction (current success average .875)É Within 3-4 years, the next premier of British Columbia will be Carole Taylor. The late Johnny Bassett, of CTV fame, decided to pick a Miss Teenage Toronto. Carole was the winner. She married Bryce Taylor, the star quarterback of the University of Toronto football team, who later became a well-known surgeon. Later, as a TV reporter, she was sent to Vancouver to interview Mayor Art Phillips, who had been the tallest star basketball player at the University of B.C. They married, she has progressed Ñ very intelligent and classy Ñ to just resigning as boss of the CBC to announce she will run in the coming B.C. election in May as a Liberal in Premier Gordon Campbell's government. Campbell's backroom boys are terrified at what their internal polls show. Campbell has 77 of Victoria's 79 seats but public polling says the NDP Ñ with new leader Carol James who no one has ever heard of Ñ is close to 50-50 popularity with the government. The backroom reading is that females hate Campbell Ñ the drunk-driving residue, his cold lack of personality. The premier admits he has been trying to recruit Taylor for years. The bet: Carole Taylor Ñ they've elbowed two good candidates into the trench to clear the cinch Vancouver-Langara seat for her Ñ has said, "Okay, buster. As long as you pass the torch to meÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ before you finish the next mandate I am going to help you win. Cuz I got the female vote. And will wipe out that other Carol." ÊTrust me.1/4/05
