The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
People who have not experienced violence cannot really fathom the emotional pain of being routinely insulted, screamed at or called a bit_ _, sl_ _, useless piece of meat ? or worse. Yet, as is for many women, this is my reality?. It wasn't always like this, everything started off mild and gradually, one small step and then another? I didn't see the pattern until much later. It is 5:00 p.m. now, after getting off work at 4:30 I rush to pick up my son from daycare. My husband will be home soon and I haven't started supper yet. I feel sick to my stomach and I break into a sweat, hoping I can get something thrown together quickly before he arrives. I throw some pork chops into the microwave to defrost, cursing at myself for forgetting to take them out this morning. I run around the house quickly picking up and dusting, making sure everything is spotless. The microwave beeps and I throw the chops into the frying pan, I grab the potatoes and start peeling. I start relaxing a bit, I might just get everything started before he arrives. Just as I start to sigh in relief, I hear the car pull up. My heart starts racing, I peel the potatoes faster, I hear the front door open and close. I pause, waiting to hear what kind of mood he is in. I hear him yelling and cursing, someone had cut him off on the drive home. My body starts to tremble, I pray our son who is watching T.V. in the front room, won't come into the kitchen. My husband yells, "you stupid bit _ _, supper is late again. Can't you do anything you useless piece of shi _." I apologize, and finish getting dinner started. I apologize again and tell him it won't be long now. He calls me over, puts his arm around me and says he is sorry for what he said, but he is hungry when he gets home from work and the guy who cut him off put him in a bad mood. I say it is okay, I understand and then? he squeezes my waist and says, "My God you sure have turned into a fat cow. What am I doing with a fat cow like you, you can't even have dinner ready for me." He pushes me against the wall and grabs me by the neck. I start to cry and he calls me a weak useless piece of meat. He says he should just take our son and leave. I can hardly breath, I am starting to black out. I beg him to stop. I plead with him to not take our son and leave, I will be a better wife. I am so scared he will do something? If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please call the Women's Resource Centre at 681-3105. There is help and you are not alone.
