Tad Milmine made the transition from an abused, bullied young man to becoming a police officer. Now, he hopes to inspire other children in rough circumstances to find help and inner strength.
Milmine, a Calgary police service constable and anti-bullying advocate behind the initiative Bullying Ends Here, stopped in Creighton and Flin Flon during a road trip through northern-based schools.
Milmine’s journey to public speaking began in 2011 following the suicide of Ottawa teenager Jamie Hubley.
Hubley, an openly gay teen, died after years of torment at school from his peers.
Milmine, who himself had suffered physical and psychological abuse and bullying both at home and at school growing up, was drawn to Hubley’s story.
“That was the moment that completely changed everything. Those three minutes of reading that article was an experience I’ve never had before. I was paralyzed, I was absolutely frozen in bed,” he said.
In seeing Hubley’s story, Milmine caught a glimpse of his own history, looking back to when he was five years old confined to his family’s basement by an abusive stepmother, mocked and beaten by bullies at school and being sexually abused. During all of this, Milmine clung to his dream of becoming a police officer in order to help people.
He eventually broke free from his family, running away from home as a teen. He found a new home and work and built a new life, pursuing his dream of becoming a police officer.
“I was just so connected to Jamie’s story. I’ve analyzed it so often and I’ve spoken to his family at great length,” said Milmine.
“I wondered why it was his story. In policing, especially in big cities, you see tragedy all the time. I go to youth suicides frequently. I see it on the news, I read it, but nothing has moved me like Jamie’s story did. I realized when I was finished reading that article that I was going to do something.”
Milmine has been sharing his message to school kids across Canada ever since. He goes out of his way to avoid preaching to the kids, feeling that, much like adults, children don’t like being told what to do. Instead, Milmine chooses to empathize and listen to the youths, hoping that in doing so, he could make a positive change.
Milmine’s website estimates that he received 20,000 messages from kids last year. He replied to them all.
“On average, I’d say that it’s about 10 per cent of the audience will message me within 24 hours. I could say even within 12 hours. The vast majority are often just saying ‘Hi’, because that’s a word I promote many times in my presentation – just say ‘Hi’ to someone new. You’ve got nothing to lose, but potentially, everything to gain with a new person in your life. I think a lot of that is the youth just trying, just testing you to see if you respond,” he said.
Above all else, Milmine hopes to show kids who may be going through difficult times that there is help available.
“I want to reach out to that young Tad in that audience right now that feels like they’re the only person. They feel alone. There’s maybe something going on at home that they’re petrified to talk about. I’m letting them know, through sharing my story, that they’re not alone; that they’ve never been alone and I’m providing them ways to start receiving help,” he said.
Prominent supporters have backed up Milmine since he began his initiative. Television personality and comedian Rick Mercer is on board with Milmine. So is Prime Minister Justin Trudeau along with members of the Calgary Flames.
“All these people are asking, ‘What can I do to help? How can I lend my name to support what you’re doing?’ All I’m doing is just talking, sharing my story. If that’s all it needs, then I wish more people would do the same thing. There’s nothing special or magic that I’m doing. Everybody has a story, no matter their age. We’ve all had dark days. We’ve all had difficult moments. We’ve all persevered at some point in our lives,” he said.
“There’s so much positive about it. The number of people that have reached out to me because they saw a story on the news or read it somewhere and asked ‘How can I help?’ is great.”
