The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Following the death of Quasimodo, the Bishop of the Cathedral Church of Notre Dame sent word throughout the streets of Paris that a new bellringer would need to be appointed. The Bishop decided that he would himself conduct the interviews, and went up into the belfry to interview the candidates. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him announcing that he was there to apply for the post. The Bishop, incredulous, declared, ÒMy son, you have no arms!Ó ÒNo matter,Ó replied the man. He then proceeded to strike the bells with his face, producing the most beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop was astonished, believing he had indeed found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. But in rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry to his death in the street below. The Bishop, stunned rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beauty of the music they had heard but a moment before. As they parted in silence to allow the Bishop through, one of the number asked, ÒBishop, who was this man?Ó Ò I donÕt know his name,Ó replied the Bishop sadly, Òbut his face rings a bell.Ó * * * Some signs you wonÕt be winning the 2008 Manitoba Marathon: You frequently hear, ÒOutta the way, lard butt!Ó... Every couple of miles, you stop and ask directions... You pulled a hamstring filling out the application... Before the race, you eat a Powerbar with extra cheese... You still havenÕt finished the 2007 Manitoba Marathon... In trying situations, you ask yourself, ÒWhat would Rosie OÕDonnell do?Ó... Some runners are sponsored by Adidas Ð youÕre sponsored by Chips Ahoy... YouÕre frequently mistaken for the fat guy from ÒLostÓ... You made your own steroids out of Red Bull and Super Glue... * * * A photographer for a national news magazine was assigned to get photos of a big forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. ÒIt will be waiting for you at the airport!Ó he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, ÒLetÕs go! LetÕs go!Ó The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. ÒFly over the north side of the fire,Ó said the photographer, Òand make three or four low level passes.Ó ÒWhy?Ó asked the pilot. ÒBecause IÕm going to take pictures! IÕm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!Ó After a long pause, the pilot said, ÒYou mean youÕre not my instructor?Ó * * * There was an engineer, a manager and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said, ÒTo fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution.Ó The engineer said, ÒNo that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it.Ó The programmer said, ÒI think youÕre both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again.Ó * * * The couple had lived together in the backwoods for over 50 years. To celebrate their 50th anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel. She said to the bellman, ÒWe refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning.Ó ÒBut Madam!Ó, replied the bellman. ÒDonÕt ÔBut MadamÕ me,Ó she continued. ÒYou canÕt treat us like weÕre a couple of fools just because we donÕt travel much, and weÕve never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. IÕm going to complain to the manager.Ó ÒMadam,Ó the bellman said, Òthis isnÕt your room; this is the elevator!Ó Very Funny! runs Fridays.
