The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
This is for all menÉ it is your word warning! When women say: "Fine"- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. "Five Minutes" - If she is getting dressed, this is actually half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if it has been given to you to shut off the television and help around the house! "Nothing" - This is the calm before the storm. This means, "Nothing" and you should be on your toes. Arguments usually begin with "Nothing" and end with "Fine"! "Go ahead" - Doesn't really mean good ahead, this is a dare not permission. Don't do it! "Loud sigh" - This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here, arguing with you over "Nothing"! "That's okay" - This is the most dangerous statement that a woman can make to a man. This statement means that she is thinking long and hard about how and when you will pay for your mistake. "Thanks" - When a woman thanks you, do not question or faint, just say, "You're welcome"! Non-living things that have a gender: - Ziploc bags are male because they hold everything in and you can see right through them. - Copiers are female because once turned off, it takes them awhile to warm up again. It is an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed but can really wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. - A tire is male because it goes bald and is often over-inflated! - A hot air balloon is male because to get it to go anyway you have to light a fire under it and of course there is the hot air part. - Sponges are female because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. - Web page is female because it is always getting hit on. - Subway is male because it uses the same old line to pick people up. - Hourglass is female because over time the weight shifts to the bottom. - Hammer is male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years but it is handy to have around. - Remote control is femaleÉ Ha! You thought it would be male, but consider thisÉ it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying! Have a great weekend!
