The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
Since this is the first column of the new year and undoubtedly some of you have resolved to lose weight, here is some food for thought... In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. But then, using God's great gifts, Satan created ice cream and donuts. Satan asked, "You want chocolate with that?" "Yes," Man answered. "And while you are at it, add some sprinkles," added Woman. They gained 10 pounds and Satan smiled. And God created the healthful yogurt so that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. So Satan brought forth white flour from wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them, and Woman went from a size 6 to a size 16. God said, "Try my fresh green salad." So Satan presented Thousand Island dressing, croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the feast. And God then said, "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." So Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken and fried steak so big it needed its own plate. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God created a light fluffy white cake and named it "Angel Cake." He said, "It is good!" Then Satan created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food." God brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light, gaining more pounds. And God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. So Satan created fast food and its double cheeseburger. "You want fries with that?" Satan asked. "Yes! And super size them!" answered man. And Satan said, "It is good!" And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created national health service!
