The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
The dispute between man and woman continues... A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and beautiful all at the same time!" She looked at him and said, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. And God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband answered, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee!" The wife stares at him for a moment and then replies, "No, you should do it. Besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee!" The husband said, "I can't believe that! Show me!" So the wife fetched the Bible and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says: "HEBREWS." A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break and the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It said, "It is 5 a.m. Wake up!" Men are just not equipped for these kinds of contests! God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece! * * * Okay seniors here we go again... Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there! What do retirees call a long lunch? Normal. What is the best way to describe retirement? The never ending coffee break! What is the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? If you cut classes, no one calls your parents! Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work but misses the people he used to work with? He is too polite to tell the whole truth! The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over! These days, half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "for fast relief." Don't let aging get you down. It is too hard to get back up! Just remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you have stopped laughing! Have a great week!
