The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
They say "Life Begins at Fifty!" But isn't that when everything starts to wear out, fall out or spread out? Granted there are three signs of old age: The first is the loss of your memory. I forgot the other two! You are getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes as long as you don't have to go along. Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work. Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds? You know you are getting on in years when the girls start confiding in you. Middle age is when it takes longer to rest that to get tired. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he is too old to go anywhere. Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun to grow in the middle.' Of course I am against sin: I am against anything that I am too old to enjoy! Billy Graham described Heaven as a family reunion that never ends. So I suppose hell is home videos of that same reunion? Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier. You know you are into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. At my age getting a little action means I don't need a laxative! Don't worry about avoiding temptations; as you grow older, they will avoid you! The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through the Senate! You are getting old when getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot. You are getting old when you are sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started! You are getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before! When you go on the cardiologist's diet and he tells you: "If it tastes good, spit it out." It is hard to nostalgic when you can't remember anything. You know you are getting old when you stop buying green bananas. The nice thing about growing forgetful is that you can hide your own Easter eggs! Have a great week!
