The Reminder is making its archives back to 2003 available on our website. Please note that, due to technical limitations, archive articles are presented without the usual formatting.
How many parents actually know what their kids are doing online? How many parents regularly read their child's MSN history over their shoulder, or look at the history files of their computer to see where their kids have been? This fall I have heard a number of stories from people whose kids are very upset over things that are being said using such tools as MSN. Cyberbullying is something that is not necessarily new, but is raising its head a lot this year. Cyberbullying is just as it says Ð bullying that happens online, using digital tools. Cyberbullying can take a lot of forms. Kids can send nasty e-mails to each other, they can abuse each other on MSN, or even post hateful material on free websites and blogs. Many kids, especially by the time they hit their teenage years, spend a lot of time online. They spend all day at school with their friends and then rush home and spend their time on MSN with their friends. This is where a lot of trouble can happen. Instant messenger software can be very valuable and easy to use, but kids can be nasty on it when they think no one is listening and watching. Luckily, many kids also think their words disappear into the ether and have no repercussions, but this simply isn't true. History files and records of old chats are automatically saved on your computer and can be easily printed out. The same goes for nasty e-mails. Almost every teenager I know has an e-mail address, and most parents have very little idea about what goes through these accounts. While kids certainly deserve a degree of privacy, parents are also ultimately responsible for their kids and need to monitor these accounts as well as they can. E-mails can be printed out and used to discuss issues and anything that concerns you as a parent. E-mails also have IP addresses attached to the tops of them and this string of numbers can be used to track an e-mail back to a source computer. Finally comes issues around blogs and websites. Many teenagers are building their own websites at places like Piczo and Myspace. These sites are free to run and take only minutes to create an account and set up a site. The trouble is that these sites can be used to be hateful and hurtful. Most kids have a likes and dislikes list of some kind on their sites and many list the names of other kids they don't like. Posting something on a blog or a website lets the entire world see it. Parents need to be concerned about things like this and they can't just let it slide, saying its no different from carving something into the wall of a bathroom stall. It is different. It is a big deal and as parents, we are responsible for what our kids say, do, and post online. Issues of things being posted online are difficult to deal with. First of all, cyberbullying is different from other types because it is always out there. "Regular" bullying (is there such a thing?) usually stops when kids are at home. Homes are safe spaces for kids to get away from pressures. But cyberbullying doesn't stop at the door. Kids can be at home, away from other people and still be getting bullied through MSN or by reading things on blogs and websites that are malicious and hateful. Second, with computer servers in one country, and the possibility of readers around the globe, getting these problems solved can be difficult. Different rules and different laws mean that getting a blog taken down that is filled with slanderous words can be difficult. The best bet is often to approach the company with your concerns and ask them if something can be done. Recognizing this as a problem, some companies are beginning to police themselves quite heavily, even locking people out of their accounts until things are satisfied. Check in on your kids. Check the history file of their MSN chats, the history file of the computer, or best of all, put your computer in a high-traffic area of your house, such as the living room, making it much more difficult for this type of spiteful garbage to happen. ([email protected])
